There is more than One Way to be a Mother

I have more than three children. There is more than my earthly child and there is more than my two heavenly babies.

I have children of the heart.

I have the spiritual children that I have mentored throughout the years. I take such delight in these “daughters of mine”. What wonderful young women they have grown [...]

You Wouldn’t Cry

My post-op Doctor appointment actually gave the emotional validation I needed. My OB was amazing, so was her nurse.

The news that we have to postpone adding to our family however, due to a slowly healing body with scar tissue, devastated me.

It’s like the pain never ends.

I’m not here to write about the pain yet again [...]

Don’t Say It

Today is my post-op from the ruptured tubal pregnancy.

I’ve been dreading it. I couldn’t figure out why until yesterday. But as I sat and journaled, it came to me. The “why” behind the dread.

To go the appointment is to make the entire (trauma and grief filled situation) medical-only. I don’t want it to be medical-only. [...]

Heaven’s Children

Why would a woman, who has been told that her chances for pregnancy are slim without medical intervention, get pregnant on her own, only to lose the baby in a ruptured ectopic pregnancy?

This is the question I put before the Lord in the days following our loss. When the grief in my heart became too [...]

Miscarriage/Tubal Pregnancy Resources

Several people have loaned me books the past five weeks, to help me through our loss. They have all spoken to my heart and I would reccommend each one for anyone going through their own loss.

Grieving the Child I Never Knew

I’ll Hold You In Heaven: (Recover/Revision),

Free to Grieve: Healing and Encouragement for Those Who Have [...]

There was no Joy

I have a blog that I keep just for infertility. It’s protected. Only those who are walking the same road are able to read it.

It’s not that I don’t mind sharing my journey with others. It’s just that in the most private, painful moments, I only want to open up my heart to those who [...]

What I Wish

I wish . . .

that women who wanted abortions

could be paired up with

Women like me, who have infertility.

If I could stop one woman from having an abortion, and if I had the money, I would house her and pay all her medical bills until the baby came.

A life would be saved.

A woman who didn’t want [...]