marriage

Proverbs 31:10-12

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

Most of us know what a “Proverbs 31 lady” should be like. Or at least we have this idea in our head of June Cleaver, party dress and pearls, baking away. (that was my image!)

But, as I was reading this a couple of days ago, these three verses seemed to stick with me. How can I bring my husband harm? I don’t hit him, or haven’t shot him, or run him over with the van (although there was this one time:))

What does it mean that my husband has full confidence in me?

This is what I came up with:

Am I willing to forgive his mistakes? After all, he is just as human as I am, and is prone to messing up once in a while. Can my husband know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am going to forgive him completely and forget about it? Or is he going to live with the worry that I will bring his past mistakes up again and throw them in his face?

Does he know that the mistakes he makes will not be told on the 6:00 news? Can he be assured that when he does mess up, that it will stay between us, and not all my friends? Am I willing to work out things between us, and not involve a third party? After all, if you complain to your best friend about what your husband does wrong, and she agrees with you, doesn’t it seem like his faults multiply? It did for me, at least. I heard once that you should tell your husband only the good things about him, and only tell God the bad things.

And can my husband trust me with his time? Meaning, I am a stay at home mom. We would joke about how he couldn’t afford to pay me what I am worth. But, can he know that I am not just spending the money he works so hard to bring home recklessly? Can he know that I am doing my best to be wise? I have heard that money is the biggest reason for divorce. I want my husband to know that the time he has to spend working isn’t in vain, that bills are taken care of and needs are put ahead of wants.

Does he know that I am of “noble” character?

The dictionary defines noble as

: possessing very high or excellent qualities or properties : very good or excellent : grand or impressive especially in appearance : possessing, characterized by, or arising from superiority of mind or character or of ideals or morals

Can he know that I have morals? That I am not going to cheat on him, either literally or in my mind? Can he know that I am true to my word, and that I am not a liar? Can he know that at the end of the day of hard work, he doesn’t always have to come home to a wife still in jammies and the house a mess? (hey, I have days!)

I want my husband to know that HE is my number one human relationship, above everyone else. He can trust me, and I am going to do what I say, not be a total spendthrift with money, and that he can be human and get forgiveness from me, even if he forgets my birthday or an anniversary. (which he hasn’t) I want my husband to know that I will love and respect him all the days that we have together….

I think that is the true meaning of a happy marriage.

M2M: Intentional Mama

Check out these two definitions:

Intentional-done with intention or on purpose; intended.
Mama- (Slang Def): a sexually attractive, usually mature woman; one’s wife.

Hmmmm….definitely not what I thought Mama meant. It can also mean “mother,” but in the context of this post (which is definitely not what you think), we’re going with the slang definition.:) In the spirit of Valentine’s Day (ahem, I know some of us think Valentine’s Day is just another consumer marketing trap, but bear with me here….), I propose that we take up this slang definition of “Mama.”

Some days can be rough for mamas….trust me, I know; been there, done that sort of thing. Some days we’d rather pull the covers back over our head rather than get up to the screaming mayhem that has become the norm in our living room. We’d rather go dive into a big pool of creamy melted chocolate than have to peel another orange or fold another basket of laundry. Let’s be real here….we all have days like this, huh? I know I do. Don’t get me wrong; I consider my job as a mama to my boys a true blessing and an honored privilege, something I wouldn’t give up for anything, but as with any job, sometimes I’m just tired. Some people think that the “me time” that’s put out nowadays is a myth and not something we as women should concern ourselves with. I’m here to tell you that you need a little time for yourself. God has given you a job to do, yes, but even God realized that He needed a day of rest after a long week of creating the world, right? I think He understands our needs better than we do….

So, I propose this: I propose that you pick a day, just one day. I know some of us have babies and toddlers, and we’re all harried out and working hard to be the intentional mothers to our babies….to give them the best that we can through God’s grace. Sometimes when we’re focusing on them all of the time, we forget to look in the mirror….can I hear an “amen?” LOLÃ‚Â Hey, I’m talking to myself here….on those rare days when I know that I don’t have to run the kids anywhere and I’m in my comfy clothes, no makeup, hair however….LOL (Just keepin’ it real here….you know you do it too.)I propose that you take one day this next month, February, just one day….you pick the day. Get up that morning, and have something planned for yourself. You might have to plan for this ahead of time. I propose that you become an intentional mama not only for yourself but for your husband. Whether it involves you going to get that long-awaited haircut or even something as simple as soaking in a bathtub with a good book….do this for yourself. This doesn’t mean you have to take the whole day away from your kids, but just make plans for this day; times are totally up to you. Then, plan a date night for you and your husband. Surprise him; be intentional about it….plan something fun just for the two of you. I know this can be hard finding babysitters (we’re actually hoping to have an evening when our church has their babysitting program).Ã‚Â If you can’t get away, plan a date night for after the kids are in bed….get take out and a movie.Ã‚Â But just keep in mind that above definition….I think to be an intentional mother, every once in a while, we need to incorporate some slang and be that intentional mama.