Having productive boundaries in a marriage is a good thing. They work to keep both husband and wife on the same page. Healthy boundaries would include couples agreeing not to spend over a designated dollar amount from the bank account without first discussing it with one another. A boundary such as this builds trust and protects the stability of a couple’s finances. This boundary also works towards maintaining order within your budget.

However, we must be watchful for some boundaries. There are negative boundaries that do not build, but rather tear down the stability of a marriage. The boundaries I am referring to are set up within our hearts and minds. They are the secret boundaries, the ones that we have not discussed with our spouses. Some of the most common are pertaining to things we have determined that we will not do for our spouses. Some of the most common I hear are:

1.Wives who refuse to cook meals for their husbands on a consistent basis.

2.Wives who refuse to be intimate with their spouses simply because they do not feel like it.

3.Wives who refuse to get dressed up like they did when they were pursuing each other.

While there are many other unproductive boundaries, these are the most damaging ones that I have heard. The point I would like to make in regard to this topic is very simple. For every thing you refuse to do, there is a at least ten other women who would gladly to those things for your husband. As a Proverbs 31 wife we have a very specific verse that encourages us not to think on the things we won’t do for our spouses but to edify those GOOD things we will do.

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12

As Christian wives we have a standard that compels us to seek to do what is good for our husbands at all times. As wives, when we begin to withhold ourselves from our husbands in any way we run the risk of creating a void within him. There are basic needs that our spouses have that only we can properly meet. Our job as wives, if we so choose to accept, is to SERVE or meet our husband’s needs. And I know that a small number of you will have a problem with serving, but WHEN YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND and understand God’s Holy Word, your heart changes when you think about what it means to serve.

So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. Genesis 29:20

Let me talk a little bit about the void that it creates within a husband when a wife refuses to meet his needs. The void changes the way he interacts with people. It can make him angry, cynical about marriage, depressed and distant. I believe that he will intentionally or unintentionally seek out ways to have those needs met. This is one of the reasons we have such a high rate of divorce, infidelity, alcoholism and addiction to pornography. As a man dealing with a wife that refuses to serve, he can do something positive in response to this situation. Husbands should be praying for their wives to have a surrendered heart, first to God and secondly to himself. He should pray that she learns to trust and understand God’s Word. He should also pray that every stronghold that leads his wife to believe that God’s plan for submission is oppressive, be destroyed.

If we are Bible believing women of God and still think that serving is for the weak, we have completely missed the point of our savior’s death and resurrection.

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Mark 10:45

Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20:28

If serving was and is good enough for our Lord and Savior then should it not be an honorable position for us as wives to fulfill?

It is my great honor to serve God and my husband. I LOVE them both and enjoy the opportunity to serve them. In regards to my husband, I pray diligently for God’s direction in regards to meeting my husband’s needs. As a stay at home wife, it is my pleasure to prepare home cooked or semi-home cooked meals for him as often as I possibly can. It is my great pleasure to strap on a pair of stilettos and a modest calf length dress that appeals to him. I am not above looking my best for him and treating him the very best that I can.

I challenge you to begin taking down the unproductive boundaries in your marriage. It will not only be a blessing to your husband, but it will bless you as well.

Was this post as good for you as it was for me? If so, you can read more encouraging messages like this at AProverbsWife.com.